The building protects itself!
With this review I break my own record of days in a row in which I have wrote a review, I’m not going to lie, I am considering taking a few days off after this as whilst I’m enjoying writing the reviews, the daily hits for the site have pretty much halved over the last week, which is very disappointing.
I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m only reviewing one type of film at the moment, or whether it’s just too many, too soon, but it’s something I’m only considering, however, I am now 1/3 of the way through and to celebrate I will tomorrow be reviewing a mainstream horror film, and my third favourite horror film of all time (second favourite will be at Day 20 and my favourite will be on Halloween).
However, before I do that, I’m going to be reviewing a film that has a horrible title and has a ranking of just 3.5/10 on IMDB (at the time of writing), and I think that is possibly the lowest ranking film that I have reviewed so far. I could easily be wrong, and rankings are by no means a true reflection of whether a film is any good. For example, my recent review for AntiSocial praised a film that had a lower rating than the film I review yesterday (Old 37), a film which I thought was only ok…..but then again, a ranking of 3.5 is pretty terrible.
Johnny (Breau) runs a show that investigates paranormal activities but ratings are failing due to no noteworthy incidents ever been shown. He promises the network executive that his next show will definitely have some more scares and he intends to do this by taking his team into the Desmond Building.
The Desmond Building has a history of strange incidents of inexplicable deaths, including during it’s construction, and very few people who enter come out alive, with those that do on the verge of insanity. Despite this, Johnny is determined to enter.
As the evening goes on the group gets gradually separated into smaller and smaller groups, and the deaths soon start mounting up. Any attempts to escape desperately fail as no matter where they go they’re always on the same floor, doors disappear on a regular basis and exits slam shut and won’t re-open. Can they find a way to escape?
So worthy of 3.5/10?
3.5/10 is generous, very generous indeed. If this starts gaining numerous votes on IMDB then there is a very large possibility of this going below 3/10, it’s that poorly made.
Let’s start with one of the strangest uses of time management that I have seen in films and that is that for a film that is 71 minutes long from the beginning of the opening credits to the start of the final credit, and it uses almost 10% of that time on the opening text revealing the storyline (which lasts for more than a minute might I add), a brief shot of someone lying on the ground having seemingly fallen through the window, and opening credits for the film, all of which adds together to last for 5 minutes and 44 seconds. Now, whilst that might not sound a lot, they have decided to use nearly 10% of their run time right there and then. I challenge anyone to find a film that uses that percentage of it’s run time before the actual movie section of it starts.
Then again, I suppose when you’ve made a film that drags as much as this then it’s only natural to fill the time with like that. The very fact that the vast majority of characters aren’t even named should tell you all you need to know about how poorly they have prioritised time. There’s not even the slightest semblance of character development because the film doesn’t have any characters. They’re all just there but it’s hard to give a shit about them in these circumstances, afterall how can you truly care about someone who you don’t even know the name of?
When they do eventually get started on the film after the lengthy opening credits, it’s when Johnny is being told by the executives that he faces the possibility of his show being cancelled. The acting in this scene is absolutely atrocious. As one of many characters who isn’t named, and that very few of the IMDB profiles of the actors and actresses don’t have photos, I don’t know the name of the actress who played the executive, but it was one of the worst shows of “acting” that I have ever scene, and the fact that she is only in the film for a total of maybe 45 seconds and I can call her performance that bad should tell you everything you need to know about it.
Bad Building is a frightfully predictable film and you can tell what’s going to happen before it does, such as a character walking into a room and the door slamming behind them, and all of the character deaths are bland, stupid, unexciting and you can see most of them coming from a mile off, with the exception of one, coming from a mile off.
It is not helped by the film looking horrendously bad. They’ve somehow managed to make a car driving along the road (whilst on location) look fake. I don’t know how they have managed it but so many scenes just look completely artificial and fake. For example, the below screenshot is from when two of the characters are sitting in the car. There is just something that looks odd about it. I can’t quite put my finger on it but it just looks odd, with the guy in the background almost looking like he’s been superimposed on the rest of the image.
There are just so many visual oddities throughout the film and this continues throughout. At near enough exactly the half way mark is a scene where they are using night vision to film each other, even though there is quite clearly still natural light shining through the windows….which is made stranger given that it’s supposedly the middle of the night. It’s almost as if they either just couldn’t be arsed, or were just too incompetent to notice.
However, for me the biggest crime is that the film is just boring. There is the odd paranormal thing that happens every now and then, but there are not scary, rarely threatening and everything feels forced. The classic horror films are the ones that flow naturally and scare you without having to try too hard, and the deaths are memorable for the right reasons, but certainly not here.
One character is killed when a three inch spike pieces their lower jaw, something that wouldn’t kill you as quickly as it kills him. They don’t get anywhere near his brain, and the stupid ways in which the films kills of what is tries to pass of as characters, or at least wound them, continues throughout. At one point a door slams shut on one of the character’s arms (I won’t say which one because I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the joy of finding out yourself if you’re ever deluded enough to watch this film), severing it at around the elbow. The character gives a mild wimper about losing half of their arm, and the other characters meander in her direction in a non-urgent manner. I don’t know about you but if I lost half of my arm suddenly I certainly would give a more distressed reaction that a mildly heart-hearted scream.
Bad Building is just a painfully bad horror movie and doesn’t have a single saving grace.
There is nothing noteworthy in a positive sense that I can say about Bad Building and it is fully deserving of a far worse rating on IMDB than what it has. It is just awful. The acting is laughable, the deaths are inconvincing, the characters aren’t even given names (other than a few of them here and there) and worst of all, it’s predictable.
Avoid, it’s 74 minutes of your life that you’re never going to get back.