I don’t mean to be a twat…..but you look like shit!

Year Released : 2013Contracted-movie-poster
Director : Eric England
Cast : Najarra Townsend, Caroline Williams, Alice McDonald, Katie Stegeman and Matt Mercer

Whilst doing my review for Thanatomorphose I found out about this very similar film called Contracted, a story about a girl’s body that starts dying on her, although in this one she seems to be turning into a zombie rather than simply being caught in a body that’s dying with no end consequence or transformation.

I could be entirely wrong but it’s certainly an interesting looking story. That being said, it has a poor score on IMDB and the message boards on there absolutely slatted the film. They really hate it on there and that is making me quite cautious about whether to look forward to this or not.

Not that I am majorly influenced by the opinions of others of course. If I think a film is good then I will praise it, and it’s it’s crap I’ll say it’s crap, as pointed out in a “Keeping it Reel” several months ago….

Plot

Sam (Townsend) has recently split up with girlfriend Nikki (Stegeman) but despite the support of her friends and mother (Williams), she can’t get over losing her. She decides to try and cheer herself up by going to a party and whilst there she is approached by a man (Simon Barrett) who had previously been seen having sex with a corpse that had a biohazard warning around it’s toe. The man hands her a drugged alcoholic beverage and the two then have sex in a car.

When she awakens Sam goes home and starts to feel ill. At a dinner with Nikki to try and smooth things over, Sam complains about it being cold and wears a thick coat. Upon having strong headaches and a load of vaginal bleeding, Sam decides to go to the doctor who tells her that she has probably caught a sexually transmitted disease.

Sam’s health continues to decline as one of her eyes turns bright right and the other loses all pigmentation, a large mark appears on her face, a huge chunk of hair falls out and maggots fall out of her vagina. It doesn’t take long for the process to change her thought patterns and that is trouble for virtually everyone around her?

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So a zombie-romp?

No, not at all, infact (spoiler alert), Sam is only a zombie for the final 30 or so seconds of the film and you never see her attack someone (although it is heavily implied that she does).

The main problem with the film is that it’s so hard to care about a character that doesn’t try and get medical help when it’s obvious that it’s more than just a cold and a rash. She is on her way to the doctor for a second time before agreeing to go to work. There are times when you genuinely don’t think that she gives a shit about the infection that has taken over her, and if she doesn’t care, why should I?

In one scene in particular she is having sex with Riley and a LOT of maggots and worms fall out of her vagina. There is not a chance in hell that she would not feel them wiggling around and yet the character doesn’t even reference them. I refuse to believe that you wouldn’t be able to feel anything crawling around in such a sensitive area.

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It is hard to really care about Sam’s plight because of the lifeless acting from Najarra Townsend as Samantha. There is a section early on in the film when she is having lunch with Nikki, and she is asked if she did anything fun at the party. Sam replies no before rolling her eyes in the most guilty way possible, it’s not even subtle like you get from other actresses in other movies, it’s full on, in your face guilty, and the most unbelievable part is that Nikki didn’t even up pick on it.

Despite being less than 80 minutes long, the film feels like it lasts a long longer and doesn’t feel like a naturally flowing film, an issue that is not helped by all of the forced and unnatural relationships between the characters. For example, I Sam and Nikki are completely different character types and have seemingly zero chemistry between them, I refuse to believe that they would ever have ever been together in the first place.

This is a problem with such one dimensional characters. None of the characters within the film are shown to have more than a single characteristic about them. Riley is only ever interested in having sex with Sam, Sam is only ever interested in getting back with Nikki, Sam’s mother doesn’t care about anything else than making sure Sam is ok, which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it’s all she is ever doing in scenes.

Unfortunately I can’t think of a single positive to be had from watching Contracted.

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Summary

It’s not really a zombie movie, it’s not even that much of a horror movie, infact the only type of movie it is is bland. It’s just there. There’s nothing positive to be said about the film and whilst my next review will be for it’s sequel, I go into it with no optimism of it being decent due to this painfully dull outing.

If your main character is going to be so unconcerned with her transformation, you really need a strong set of secondary characters and you just don’t get that at all in this movie.

Don’t waste your time.

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