Sorry, Sean can’t come to the phone right now, he’s fucking Patrick.

Year Released : 2005

Director : Jeremy Haft

Cast : Jenna Dewan Tatum, Katie Stuart, Chad Faust, Bryan Clark Claudette Mink, Melissa Elias, Gil Hacohen and Matthew Marsden

Ahh, the ever fun “Horror Channel”, making this list relatively easy to compile since the mid 2000s. About ten years ago I watched this movie for the first time on the home of low budget scare-fests and liked it enough at the time to buy the DVD. As I ran out of film that I actually want to review over the last week or two (hence some of the bottom-of-the-barrel stuff in recent days), I figured why not give it a second chance?

This might easily fall into the category of films I liked when I was younger but can see all sorts of flaws in now, and to be honest I am expecting that.

Then again, I could be wrong.


Tamara (Tatum) is a shy girl who is attracted to Bill (Marsden), her English teacher. One day she is inspired to write a scathing article about the school’s athletes and this angers Shawn (Clark) and Patrick (Hacohen). She decides to try her hand at witchcraft to mean her and Bill are bound by fate, but she wimps out at the last minute.

One evening she gets an invite to a hotel room, believing it to be Bill she accepts, but she soon finds numerous members of the school’s popular crowd and they are there to film her embarrassment when she realises. She is accidentally killed during the incident and everyone moves on.

However, the next morning she walks into class and maybe the witchcraft did work afterall.

So a decent outing?

“Tamara” is pretty much what you’d expect from a low budget horror film, it’s a no-thrills (or scares) use of 94 minutes of your time, filled with sometimes questionable acting and some unimaginative plot points. That being said, the plot points that aren’t predictable make this film bareable.

For example, some of the spells that she puts on the friends are actually a bit creepy, such as getting a girl who has an eating disorder to literally start eating herself, or forcing the two athletes into having sex with each other. In that sense is it watchable and someone enjoyable to an extent. In terms of its creativity it is certainly decent enough.

Don’t be mistaken for thinking that this is an excellent horror movie though, other than the effective use of spells there isn’t a lot to really going on that I would look at and call memorable, or would make me want to watch it again. I bought this on DVD about ten years ago after seeing it on the ever reliable Horror Channel and literally hadn’t watched it again until I was doing the review today. Ten years of owning a DVD and I’ve not attempted to watch it in that time should tell you all that you need to know.

I feel somewhat bad given it a negative review as it isn’t a bad effort and I can’t point to  single thing that actually makes it largely uninteresting, but on the flip side I can’t think of any major positives either other than the magic.


“Tamara” tries hard to achieve its vision, and to be fair it is one of the more unique low-budget horror films I’ve seen, but ultimately it is a completely forgettable and unscary horror movie.

Nothing is particularly wrong with it, but nothing’s that great either.

It’s just there.


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