You saw, the sand ate him, it devoured him!
Director : Isaac Gabaeff
Cast : Brook Butler, Cleo Barry, Cynthia Murell, Dean Geyer, Meagan Holder, Mitchel Musso, Hector David Jr and Nikki Leigh
You know when you hear a plot so ludicrous that you just have to watch it? That’s how I felt when I read about “The Sand” when I was scan through what was coming up on The Horror Channel. The plot that got me interested was *clears throat for dramatic impact* “Hungover beach part goers wake up to discover the sand has turned into a carnivorous entity that wants to eat them for breakfast!” How could you not want to see how bad it is after reading that synopsis?
I am expecting the lowest of the low from this, especially given that it has a 3.9 rating on IMDB.
One night whilst partying on a beach a group of friends finds a weird blob and decides to burn it. The next morning they wake up and Kaylee (Butler) notices a bird getting beaten by and covered in sand. Before she can warn the others properly Marsha (Leigh) and Vance (David) both got onto it and they too are attacked by the sand. The group are divided into three, some in a car, others in the lifeguard hut and Gilbert (Barry), who has been wedged into a trashcan, but none of them can leave.
Realising that all of the random towels on the beach were there friends who didn’t realise what was going on, they soon notice that they blob was actually an egg and has since hatched. They test to see if they can see if there is a specific border to whatever is killing them. They see that is does and Jonah (Geyer); successfully manages to get to the border, but is stabbed by a tentacle on the way that injects him with poison. After taking food from a nearby bag and throwing it to the group, the poison causes numerous ruptures in his stomach
Can they get off of the beach?
As bad as the initial summary made it sound?
A few years ago I reviewed a movie called “Let There Be Zombies” and described it as watchable because of how hilariously bad it was, and it was very much the same for this
The acting is very cheesy to say the least and doesn’t feel appropriate for the situation. For example, several of their friends die within the first few minutes and they barely seem they concerned a few minutes later. Even one of them saying something along the lines of “my boyfriend just died” is delivered in such an unconcerned way that you genuinely don’t feel the character truly cares that much. This continues throughout as characters die and there are seemingly no cares given by the other characters.
It wouldn’t be so bad if there were moments of genuine terror or tension. Call my cynical but whether they can throw a bottle of sunblock to Gilbert or not isn’t exciting, nor is a scene where they are throwing hot dogs into the beach to see whether the monster has a specific size or shape, or any number of the scenes throughout the run time.
The soundtrack is basically what sounds like stock music, taken directly off of a sound-effects CD. It’s just generic and bland piano music. Not only is it bland, but it’s used really ineffectually, such as when they realise that they can’t step on the sand, they’re all reflecting on the situation and the music sounds almost like something you would expect from a montage of team members preparing the night before the big game. It’s really strange.
This is bad, but it is one of those movies that seems to be so bad that it is almost good. It’s watchable because of how bad it is.
It is one of those films which has quite clearly been made on a budget and fair play to them for trying to achieve their dream, but their ambitions were a bit silly to put it nicely. I respect anyone who tries to accomplish their vision, but sometimes it is valuable to know that your vision is awfully executed.
I’d recommend watching purely to show you how bad it is.