I miss people shutting the fuck up!
Director : Hector Hernandez Vicens
Cast : Sophie Skelton, Johnathon Schaech, Marcus Vanco and Jeff Gums
So at the time of writing this film has a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, 3.4/10 ON IMDB and only 1.5/4 from Robert Ebert, let’s face it, this film is going to be trash. Most zombie films are going to be trash these days, especially remakes of films from arguably the most beloved zombie franchise of all time (no, I’m not looking at you “Resident Evil”).
In my tribute to George A. Romero I wrote how I grew up on zombie filled media, whether it be his films, the “Resident Evil” game franchise and various other forms of the sub-genre of horror, and those who have been reading my site since near the beginning will know it is a type of film I went to review a LOT during the initial days of this site. Over time that interest disappeared quite quickly and I rarely talk about them these days.
Anyway, this appeared on Netflix on Thursday evening and having watched the trailer, I thought I’d give it a try. I was convinced to write a review after just two minutes because it was just that bad, hopefully it’ll get better.
Medical student Zoe (Skelton) is attending a party when a patient of her’s called Max (Schaech) breaks in and attempts to rape her. Whilst this happens a corpse suddenly raises in the morgue, killing Max and then the infection spreads, killing her friends. She is the only survivor.
Several years later she has moved into a compound with a mix of refugees and military. When a young girl becomes ill she convinces the powers that be to go to her old university so they can get medical supplies after the nearby towns have been drained of supplies, but whilst there she encounters the now zombified Max. He sniffs a bit of clothing she dropped and traces her based on the scent.
What happens when Max reaches the base?
So did it get any better after the first two minutes, or are the bad scores all over the internet justified?
Oh it is very much the latter! I don’t often use this phrase when describing films, but this movie is complete and utter dogshit!
There is a line quite early one when Miguel says to Zoe “I’ll send my brother, Baca”, you’ve lived together several years by the narration that she has just given, I’m pretty certain that she knows he’s your brother, especially as she is your brother’s girlfriend. It is a line of dialogue that is set up for exposition for the audience, nothing more. The movie is full of dialogue just like that.
The screenplay is poorly written and everything just feels set up for convenience rather than something that would actually happen in the situation. For example, about 20 minutes in the two army trucks have to stop because one breaks down. The mechanic is repairing for hours and yet only just manages to fix it just as the zombies, referred to as “rotters” in this movie, start to approach. Isn’t that just convenient? Seriously though, any potential for realism in this film is not taken and I know that this is a zombie film so being realistic might not be top of the priority list, but just because it’s set in a sci-fi/horror/fantasy environment doesn’t mean it can’t be realistic, afterall, look at Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy when compared to Joel Schumacher’s versions.
I wouldn’t necessarily mind so much if it wasn’t for a lack of decent characters, or even reasonable acting, but unfortunately it has neither. Zoe is a dull central character. This is one of the main causes of the film lacking any real tension, either emotional or physical that the original movie had back in the 1980s, and I don’t even necessarily like that film.
Even a bit of originality would do this film some good, but there was precisely nothing in this 90odd minute run time that I hadn’t seen in other zombie flicks. It is bereft of an original thought or idea, and in many ways this movie is the embodiment of a zombie. It is dead on arrival, lifeless, shambling from start to finish and doesn’t have a coherent thought anywhere.
I also have a few more issues with the bad dubbing of numerous characters, that the zombie version of Max is somehow capable of stealthily scoping out his victims or even though he somehow manages to keep up with vehicles that are travelling many miles.
There are just too many problems to list here.
This is dogshit.
I’m just going to leave it there.